Last night, for the first time ever, I read a book on a Kindle. Aren't I hip?
We have been back in school since last Thursday. Much to the chagrin of my children, no one else has gone back to school. The weather here has been crazy, crazy cold and everything else has been cancelled. However, since we still don't know if and when the flu/sickness/whatever will hit, I am trying to keep on going. We had fairly light days on Thursday-Friday and Handsome went into work but there was still lots of complaining. L even told me, "Mom, do you realize that we are the ONLY ones doing school?" Still, there were lots of playdates in the afternoon and I tried to vary it up. Monday I meant for things to get back to "normal" but then it was like 25 degrees so Handsome was home and it was just hard.
I promised myself that I would make it though this winter without getting down and that I would exercise 5 times a week to combat the fact that I am not as active outside. If I was a cynic, I would say that Satan then said, "We will see about that! One polar vortex, more roof leaks, an out of tune paino, basement leaks, frozen pipes, fridge tube busted, sister with cancer, dental surgery for the non clotter........how about them apples?" These things will not steal my joy (but oh, it is hard!)
I took the two middles to OT today. The Lord really answered our prayer there and I know both N and M will benefit. The only downside is that now I actually have to do things with them (gasp!) and that takes discipline. On the way home, I called my friend Dawn and said, "I just wish I had normal kids." Yes, I know they are normal (because really, everyone has their special issues) but, wow, managing things gets challenging. I am thankful the Lord gave me a love of organization and is teaching me to lighten up.
Quite honestly, I think it boils down to--am I good enough? And, if I think of it that way, of course I am not. And I will try and fail. But the Lord loves them so much more then me so, lately, I just pray, "Lord, you take care of it and help me not get in the way." I am determined to take care of myself because, by doing that, I take care of them. And His grace is big enough to cover my feeble efforts and turn them into so much more. So, when I don't do the putty exercises, when I yell at J because he just won't stop whining---grace. This doesn't mean I need to stop trying. It just means I need to focus on the goal.
Tomorrow is Summit. We are getting back into the swing of things...slowly but surely. And it will warm up. One day at a time.
