Well.  Today kicked my butt.  This month...wow.

Some days I miss the old me that had it all together and knew all the answers.  The new me doesn't know where shoes are, leaves laundry and dead bugs in the floor, and, at times, feels completely unprepared. No matter how hard I work, sometimes I just am not enough.

Tomorrow we are supposed to leave at 7:30 a.m. so we can go on a field trip and then to Black Rock for the weekend.  The boys are super excited but this week has been a maze of soccer, church, homeschool, and doctors.  I've worked my butt off but I will still get up early to pack food and do whatever else.

This morning I took my baby to Hemophilia Clinic. I hate that place.  Everyone there is so kind and he loves to play the video games. But I hate that place.  Going there is a reminder that he (we) are not normal.  And I can pretend 364 days a year that he is okay.  The day I take him there... no way.  Our visit took longer then normal because they wanted to do a platelet study on him and were trying to get insurance approval.  He has two bleeding disorders but that isn't it. He also has large, misshapen platelets.  Nobody knows why--my boy, the medical mystery.  And blah.

Some days are hard.