March flew by and here we are, April 6. Handsome left yesterday for Ensenada and I have dreaded his departure for weeks. This week is the first of three that he will be gone in the next four months. Last year we headed to the beach while he was out of town. This year, the oldest two traveled to the Everglades with Nanna and Poppa and the littles and I are staying home. All of my boys will be back Tuesday and we go to pick Handsome up Friday night at 9. I am glad that he got to go on the trip; last year no less then five different people told me what a blessing Handsome's presence was over the week. But it is hard being the one at home.
I know that I can do this. I know that we will make it and that it will be over soon. I have done it before, I will do it again.
The hardest part is that I know how it will go. I know we will have some good days, like yesterday, when it goes fairly easily and I am able to exercise. We will have times like this evening when I just want to beg them to go to sleep. That hardest part is the 24/7 demand of it all--need to run to the store for one thing? Take the kids. Need to take a shower? There is a good chance someone will interrupt. What I have learned is that I have to take care of myself at all costs--at times putting my well-being first so that I can continue going and not run out of steam. For the last three days I have napped on the couch. Saturday I turned on a video for my third while I slept. Yes, I feel a little guilty but, right now, the bottom line is that Mommy has no back up plan.
I am not a saint. But I am all they have so I figure it is best if I cut myself some slack so that I can keep standing. :) We are going to make it.
