(Here we are on our 11th anniversary 10 days ago)
The thing about homeschooling is this--it forces you each day to confront your inadequacies and brings to light struggles that you/your kids have, forcing you to realize over and over and over again how much of life is God and how little is you. (Massive run-on sentence, sorry)
I have been homeschooling 10 full weeks, as of this Friday. Just like I imagined, there are parts of it that are really hard. One of the hardest parts, for me, is just the work involved. Lesson planning, cutting, filling work boxes--just the sheer amount of time. The awesome side of the workboxes is they force me to plan ahead, making my life easier. The bad part of workboxes is that they require completing each day. Some days we school until late afternoon. Some days we are done shortly after lunch. It is my job. It is what I do. And I knew it would be hard and time-consuming but ...Whoa Nelly! Everyday I am homeschooling. Everyday I am getting things ready. And planning...wow! Planning to a new level. When I go to work at LBC, I pack their books and we go. I have been blessed to find many wonderful field trips with several different groups but even then, the deciding and the scheduling (and the paying!) takes effort.
I can absolutely see the benefits for my kids. I can see some disadvantages too. I am slowly winning my oldest over. But, wow, at times that is hard too as I try to make time for friends and balance household chores like laundry and food and life. School comes first so, last week, a pile of laundry set on the couch for 3 days.
September was busy. Our nights were full with soccer and then N broke his arm, essentially severing those 5-10 minute "breaks" I would have during schooling when they were all working and I could run and throw a load of laundry in or unload the dishwasher. With N unable to write well, I take his notes. While this has increased his love of grammar, it made things harder for me as well (refer back to laundry on couch for days on end).
One thing I have learned about myself, the hard way, over the last year is this: even if it is only for a few minutes, I need to get out and get moving. Even if I walk to the library and back or do Insanity or walk around the mountain, I MUST do something for myself. Things were pretty bleak in February. I was overweight, eating crap, and in a bad mental state. I am better able to cope with the normal ups and downs of life with five males and homeschooling when I have gotten some kind of movement. I am nicer, I am calmer, and I am a more loving wife. Good health equals sane Mama.
I am close to giving up coupons. The only part left that wants to hold on is the saving money part. But my time is at a premium now and I wonder how much coupon bang for my buck I am getting for my time when, so many weeks, I am not able to check the sales or I do check the sales and there is nothing we need. This is a busy season and I can't do everything.
Yes. I can't do everything. Easy to say. Hard to practice. I am learning a lot about patience and humility. I read this article about how we are often kind to everyone else but not our closest family members. So, at times when I just want a moment or someone asks me something for the millionth time, I tell myself, "I can be kind this one time." Usually it helps me from snapping someone's head off and gets me through the next few moments. At times I just get tired of school and I know they do too. I have learned that an early start covers a multitude of sins; the one time we started at nine school took about an hour and a half longer then normal. I worry that I am trying to cover too much which I guess is an improvement over not covering enough and dumbing them down? They continue to amaze me with how much they know and how quickly they process information. They know so much already, just from reading, and I can see facts and ideas start to connect, especially when I read history aloud to them.
Basically,it is hard but I am left feeling very humbled. I am mentally and physically able to teach my children. We have the finances to buy curriculum and take some incredible field trips. My cup overflows.
